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The healing powers of friends

This Sunday I’ll be participating, along with all of the Best Health editorial team, in the CIBC Run/Walk for the Cure in Toronto. I’m really looking forward to being a part of it. Over the years the Run for the Cure has really come to symbolize the importance that we can all play in fighting breast cancer—especially when we work together.

When we first started talking about the event, it made me think about who I would be running (or walking fast) for in my life. I’ve been fortunate that no one in my immediate or extended family has suffered with breast cancer. But when it comes to friends, it’s a different story. One very good friend, who I’ve known since we were 13, found out at 38 that she had breast cancer. After chemotherapy, a partial mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, she has beaten the disease. And she gives a lot of the credit for that to her doctors and her strong support system of girlfriends and female family members.

It was the small things her friends did that made all the difference to her. The daily check-ins when she went through treatment, the offers to watch her two young sons when she felt too sick to get out of bed some days, and the freedom she had to talk about her fears and her feelings, which allowed her to deal with them—and then get on with getting better. And through the years this group of girlfriends has helped each other deal with so many life-defining events.

For me it’s these relationships that make getting through the rough times bearable. An upcoming article in Best Health Magazine (The Friends Connection, Nov/Dec. 2008, on newsstands October 27) drives home the point that having close friends—whether it’s a group, or a few scattered far and wide that you rely on—not just makes you happier, it’s also good for your health.

Five years ago I began a friendship with a neighbour. It started out casually, we would walk our kids to school together and chat. Over time we began to share more of our daily stresses and struggles. Eventually our friendship grew to be one of real significance in my life. About two years ago, she found a lump in her breast. Over the course of five weeks, we would talk about her feelings and fears daily. I felt glad that she would confide in me and that she got comfort from the support I gave. Talking this openly really cemented our friendship too. When she finally got the all clear that the lump was not cancer I couldn’t have been more thrilled and relieved for her. Today, she is one of the first people I call when I need to talk.

So it’s these friends that I’ll be thinking about when I’m out there on Sunday. Have you helped a friend get through breast cancer? Or have friends helped you get through a health crisis or a life-changing event? I’d like to know how you helped each other.

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Posted by Jennifer Walker on October 3, 2008, 9:44 am